Where do we learn to use a towel to dry ourselves off? Was there some starting point for the whole idea, some super genius mother who showed her kids how to do it and then it spread from her kids to their kids and so on? Did those kids populate the world? Did they live longer? For that matter, who came up with the idea of the towel in the first place? Was it born of a need to be dry as fast as possible to avoid some sort of danger? Or have people always been as impatient to move onto more "important" things, so much so that we invented the towel to speed up the bathing process? These are the questions that keep me up at night. Everything else I write about is crap. This is serious shit!
I am sure that I am not the first one here to wonder about the birth of the towel, or how it has impacted the march of history, whether it is responsible for starting or ending wars, or just responsible for people getting to work on time, refreshed and dry. Because let's face it, without toweling off, you would have to wait FOREVER to drip dry. I wonder if the best part of bathing is getting to use a fresh, warm towel to dry off afterward. And you never realize how important a towel is until you are standing in your friend's shower, wet and cold, when it dawns on you that there are no towels to use, and no way to get to one without freezing your ass off, because putting your dirty clothes back on is not an option. Ever. And using those clothes to dry off is also a no-no. Add in that your friend is listening to music loud enough to bring stuffed animals to life, and all of his/her towels are dirty anyways. Because your friend is a slob. Who does not make sure that there are clean towels for a guest?! The lazy fuck. I mean come on! Where was I again...
If we are taught by our parents, and they by their's, are there cultural differences in the way we towel off? Is there an Irish style? Italian? French? Is it like languages, and we as Americans are all just using a bastardized style of drying our bums brought with our ancestors to this land, and corrupted by television and easy drugs? Wow. The implications just boggle the mind. Is there a true style, an original "correct" way to dry off that is faster and more efficient then what we are taught today? Were there wars fought over it? Did or do people die because of how they towel off?
On the other hand, getting more than a couple of hours of sleep here and there, along with regular meals, may get rid of these thoughts. But the question is, should I?
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