I suppose it won't kill me, but it sucks all the same.

I am having to relearn patience. Or maybe, I am learning to be patient for the first time. I felt that for so long I had to put what I wanted behind what I needed. I had to keep my head down, work toward my goals and not stray from the path I had set myself. Now that I have attained most of those goals, and all I have left are the things that I actually want to get done, want to do, want to experience, I am antsy. Fidgety. I don't want to wait for them anymore. And It's not as if the goals that I have left are small or even remotely easy. I am going to have to work harder at these than I did on my other goals. They are just more rewarding, because I want to do them. It's not the "I have to do this to get where I want to be".

There is also the possibility that I'm nervous because I have not been in this position before. For a good portion of my life, I did not try new things, did not stray from my comfort zone. All of these things that are going on in my life are new. I guess if I was to be honest they all scare the crap out of me, and having to wait for these things is quickly driving me insane. It could also be that I was eaten alive by bugs this weekend.

Screw this, I'm going to go get some donuts and something for these bites. I hate bugs. Especially ants and those creepy potato bug things. Ugh.